None of us is hiding

Sirius bit his lips and sighed. Nervously he looked up, as the door opened. The dark-haired wanted to say something, but as Lupin aimed his wand, he shut up.
»What do you want?«, he heard Remus say, and it didn’t sound nicely.
»You want to kill me like the other Marauders?«, Moony then guessed. Sirius shook his head no.
»No, I never killed anybody! I swear to you, Remus! It was Peter, he killed James and Lily, you have to believe me!«, Sirius begged and looked at his old friend with a hopeful sight.
»Remus, you have to believe me! Peter put the blame on me, really!« Sirius didn’t know how he should convince the werewolf in front of him.
»I swear, I didn’t kill them… I never could. They were my friends, my best friends! You know that, Moony, you know I loved them, all of the three. But since… since they died… Peter’s still at large! And I hate him, for what he did to me, but especially for what he did to James and Lily, and Harry, of course… Moony, you have to believe me«, Sirius explained.

Sirius couldn’t reply that grinning of Remus. At this moment he was afraid. Afraid to get caught again. To be obliged to go back to Azkaban.
Nevertheless he entered Remus house and sat down on one of the armchairs.
»Uhh… yeah… thanks«, he said and took the cup of tea.
»Well… You know that Lily and James were hiding because of Harry, right? And that James wanted me to be their Secret-Keeper, but we rather wanted Pettigrew, because Voldemort would suspect me. Well, as I went to Pettigrew’s hiding place and found him missing plus the lack of signs of a struggle, I sped to Godric’s Hollow to James and Lily. But I discovered the house destroyed and my friends dead; only Harry was still alive. Hagrid appeared and wanted to rescue Harry. I offered to take Harry myself… However, Hagrid said Dumbledore had made arrangements to send Harry to Petunia. I left Godric’s Hollow and I overcome with grief and rage. I tracked Pettigrew down, determined to hill him, for what he did to Lily and James. He outwitted me, confronted me on a city street and shouted out that it was me who betrayed the Potters. Then he created a huge explosion which enabled him to fake his own death, just leaving a severed finger behind, and killed twelve Muggles in the process. I was arrested and was sentenced without trial to Azkaban for the murder of Pettigrew and the twelve Muggles, for giving the information about the Potters’ whereabouts which lead to their death and for being in the service of Lord Voldemort. I never betrayed Lily and James. I would have died before I betrayed them….«, Sirius explained and caught a breathe.
»After several years in Azkaban, I regained enoght strength to transform into my Animagus form. After I received an issue of the Daily Prophet from Fudge during an inspection, I discovered that Pettigrew was still alive and hiding in his Animagus form as Weasleys pet rat. Filled with the desire for revenge, I took my Animagus form and was able to slip though the bars of my cell, past the Dementors. I swam across the North Sea to freedom, though the journey nearly killed me. And now, after one year hiding, I’m here.«

He listened curious and nodded sometimes. "And what do you want to do now? I'm not sure if it's a great idea you would life here or maybe..." Remus stopped talking and lookes through the room. There was enough space for both of them if Sirius would agree.
"Maybe you could be me dog", he said and grinned. "But there are some conditions." Remus looked at Sirius expecting an answer.
"Wait... What have you eaten all the time?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

»I… I don’t know, I… thought I could go back to my family’s house, but… I guess the Ministry would expect me there so...«, Sirius sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
»…your dog? And you’re okay with it? Having me in your house?«, he asked worried. Sirius didn’t want to go back to the woods, to be sure, but… in his condition Remus wouldn’t want to have him here for long. He has nightmares, he was frightened all the time and sudden movements made him cringe. It surely wasn’t that easy with him.
»I ate everything I could find… berries… mice, birds and sometimes a hare«, Sirius answered and drank his tea. He was still very hungry. He never could eat his fill, so he was slimmed-down. But he didn’t want to ask Remus for food, he was still scared that he would kick him out of his house.

„Of course I want you here. I don't think this would be very problematic.“ 
Remus stood up and walked to Sirius'. „I mean, you are my best friend. I can't send you back to wherever you had stayed the whole time.“ Then he turned around to the kitchen.
„You must be very hungry. I have cold roast but I can warm it if you want.“ He looked at his friend. „From where you have all this tattoos?“, he asked interested.
While he was waiting for Sirius' answer he thought about the place where Sirius could sleep. There was the sofa or he could sleep on a cover. The sofa would be the best.

Sirius smiled a little bit.
»Thank you«, he said and looked down to the floor.
»Roast sounds good. Thanks, Moony«
The dark-haired man looked down on himself, to his chest, where many tattoos were. He swallowed and cleared his throat. Most of the tattoos where hidden under his green Azkaban-clothes: A green striped Overall and a green ‘jacket’.
»Ehr… I got them in… Azkaban… Runes with many meanings and…«, his hand stroke over the crook of his neck, »…and my prison-number…« He sighed. He knew all the meanings of his tattoos, the complicated runes, branded over his chest and arms. Every day they made him thinking about Azkaban, the painful ordeal, it was.

Remus gave Sirius a plate with the leavings from his dinner and sat down. „You can sleep on the sofa. I will give you a cover and a pillow. If you want you can have some clothes.“
He smiled and went to the sofa to prepare everything. „If there's something you need, just ask me. The bathroom is there“, he pointed at a door next to the kitchen.
„So uhm... I think you want to go to bed now?“

Sirius took the plate and tried to smile
»Uh.. thank you«, he said and began to eat the leavings of Remus’ dinner. It felt so good to eat something other than berries and raw meat. He could barely describe it.
The Animagi looked down on himself.
»If you can offer something you don’t need, anymore… that would be nice«, Sirius said and looked to the couch. It was way better than sleeping in a cave or under trees.
»Yeah… thank you so much, Remus«, he smiled. He didn’t know what to do with the plate, so he just put it on the table.
Precarious Sirius looked around and took a blanket and a pillow.
»Good night, Moony«, he murmured and shut his eyes.

Sirius opened his eyes. He was bathed in sweat. His throat felt dry and it hurt. He knew, he screamed while he slept. Often. It was just another nightmare… The dark-haired looked around. Where was he?! Panicked he went off the couch and looked around. It was dark, so he couldn’t see anything. It was too dark. From behind he heard something. Sirius boggled. It sounded like one of the Dementors.
»No! No! Please!«, he shouted as he turned around. Where was he?! Sirius swallowed. He could barely see his hand. But finally he discerned it was just the wind that blew against a curtain. His nerves were frazzled. He slid down on one of the walls and covered his face with his hands. Tears rand down his cheeks and he snievelled quietly. Azkaban broke him. He was scared all the time. But he can’t do anything against it. It was useless. He was useless.
»Shit…«, he swore. Why can’t he just like like everybody else? Why does he has to suffer?!

„I will lay it next to the sofa“, he said and went to his closet to get some clothes for Sirius. He smiled when he saw that his friend already went to bed and felt asleep. Remus decided to go to bed too, it was a very long day and there were a lot of informations he had to work.
He cleaned the plate and layed the clothes next to Sirius' bed, then he went to bed too.

It was still dark when he awoke because of screams. He looked around and saw Sirius. He shook his head caring and got up. „Everything okay?“, he asked softly and sat on a armchair next to the sofa. „You want to talk about it?“
Remus stadied his head on his hands.

Sirius was still leant against the wall as Remus came to him.
»You really ask whether everything’s okay? Nothing’s okay! I went to goddamn Azkaban for twelve years! Every day my tattoos and everything else remind me of that! I just thought that the curtains were Dementors! You know, I got tortured, I nearly died and I the Ministry searches for me! I’m getting panicked really fast by things like the wind blowing against the goddamn curtains!« Sirius hid his face behind his hands. He was crying and he didn’t want Remus to see him in that very moment.
»You can’t imagine how horrible it was in Azkaban! You can’t and you won’t!...«
Sirius calmed down a bit but still tears ran down his face.
»I just wish everything’s like back in Hogwarts… I’m sorry… I… screamed at you. My fault…«, he said, disappointed by himself. He ascended and went back to the sofa.
»You should go back to bed and sleep… Sorry that I woke you«, he whispered, turned to the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

Remus lowered his head. Sirius was right. He hadn't any idea how it felt to be in Azkaban. For twelve years. He never got frightened because of curtains and he was never hunted by the Ministry of Magic. Compared to Sirius, Remus had a very perfect life.
Now he recognized how stupid it had been to ask Sirius if everything was alright. He was a horrible friend.
„No, I have to be sorry“, he interrupted Sirius. „I havn't bore in mind how horrible you must feel after all this time. I'm so sorry.“ He stood up and looked at his friend then he turned around went back to bed.
Remus layed there, thinking about the time in Hogwarts. About everything he experienced with Sirius and James and … Pettigrew. It was his fault. Everything. Without him James propably would be alive and Sirius never had stayed the last twelve years in Azkaban.
Slowly his eyes closed and he felt asleep.

»I don’t blame you… it’s alright… Sleep tight«, he whispered.
It took him hours, until he finally fell asleep again.

As Sirius woke up the next morning, he had slept for just 3 hours. He looked at the clothes, which lay next to the couch. He took them and went to the bathroom. With an easy spell a scissor and a razor appeared. They cut his hair and shaved his beard, while he washed himself and changed his clothes.
As he left the bathroom he felt way better. He didn’t look like he was in the woods for one year, but ordinary, like he looked before he went to prison.

He woke up very early in the morning but Sirius' bed was already empty. Remus stayed in his bed for a few more minutes, then he began to prepare breakfast.
„Do you have any plans what to do in the next time?“, he asked Sirius friendly when he came from the bathroom. He looked much better and nearly normal. Like all the terrible things never happened.
„Uhm, I thought, maye you could stay here as my dog, like I mentioned yesterday, and yeah... Of course only if you want.“
In this moment an owl flew through the window into the kitchen and sat down at the table. The owl had a letter for Remus. Puzzled he took it off and began to skim over it. After he finished the owl already disappeart. Pensive he looked at Sirius.
„Dumbledore wants me to teach Defence against the Dark Arts...“